Back to School Night at Hogwarts

Last night was back to school night for the upper grades at Hogwarts (DD's class).  They call it a "Parents/Teachers Meeting" and it is definitely something that must be experienced to comprehend.  There is a second one this evening for the younger grades (DS's class). but I am not sure we have the stamina to attend two such events in one week!  Luckily, it is probably not necessary.  Since the school is small most of the teachers teach most of the students.

The event is structured differently than similar ones I have attended in the US.  Instead of having parents move to the teachers, the teachers come around to different classrooms and present themselves to the parents.  So, basically you have a parade of different teachers coming through and introducing themselves to various classrooms full of parents.  From the teacher standpoint it must feel like a Judging Gauntlet.

We are all grouped by which class level our children are in.  I imagine this causes havoc with parents who have kids in multiple levels, but, again, it is a small school so presumably the information will get out... Also, these parents are pushy!  Not in a bad way, mind you.  But, figure Hogwarts families are not exactly the usual stay-home and go-with-the-flow sorts who populate the majority of the planet.  These are people who have 1) chosen to live in a foreign country and/or 2) chosen to send their children to a school that specifically caters to an international crowd.  This is not a population prone to Shy Wallflower Syndrome.  These folks know what is important to them and are willing to speak out to get it.  The group dynamics are fascinating to watch.

This year there are a lot of new teachers in the Hogwarts faculty.  What are they like?  Well, some are pretty typical teachery-types- professional educators like you might find at any school.  But, interestingly enough, a lot of them are a little different.  They truly do seem like people who might be cast as Hogwarts instructors.  You can practically see the floo powder still in their hair!

Highlights:
The upper-grade History/Geography teacher is what DD terms "not exactly a great teacher, but very, very interesting".  He is an aging, auburn-haired Francophone with a slightly-forward-leaning carriage.  His spiky hair should long-since have gone grey if the crags in his face are to be believed, but I detect nothing bottle-died about it.  On the other hand, it is not entirely natural-looking either, having fascinating variegations and speckles.  DD says he has the unfortunate habit of pacing the room with his hands behind his back and perching above students to observe their work.  Her first impression was "vampire", but I think he is  more bird-like with a quick, questioning eye, sharp nose and angular features.  Perhaps a carrion-bird of some kind, or one of the larger birds of prey- definitely something large enough not to be easily startled.  I am going to settle on Buzzard for now, but not in the ideological sense. Last year she had the Ghost Teacher for Geography, so a likely-animagus is an improvement. 

He seems to be a self-assured master of his subject matter and according to DD makes the attempt to ensure that his students are getting the information they need.  However, the poor gentleman has the misfortune of teaching two of the classes that are this year designated to be taught in the students' second language (L2)- French.  For students who have lived in Strasbourg for a while and/or attended Hogwarts since the beginning, this is not much of an issue.  Their French is up to the task.  But, for students like DD and several others who came in late, the fact that they have several classes in a language that is still a challenge is, well, challenging!  One recently adopted dad started up the conversation about what was being done to get the late-comers up to level on the French, and 1/2 the room piled on.  Mr. Buzzard did his best to deflect imperiously, but he was standing right in the line of fire with no real answer other than "this is how it is done".  In the end, a more diplomatic father suggested that perhaps learning support for French was something that the Home Teacher could address instead of the man whose job it was to teach Human Sciences, and the parents let the regal bird depart, feathers in tact.

(Edit: I just remembered who he reminds me of!  Uncle Deadly!!! Only, you know, Redder)

     The new Technomancy Teacher is somewhat simian in presentation, with cropped dark hair, thick eye brows, and long, hair-covered arms. So, for the purposes of the blog I will imagine that he is, indeed, a full-blown were-ape.  But, he is also awesome!  He has a rich, thickly French accented baritone, but claims to teach English students exclusively in English.  So, points there.  But, more essential, he is re-invigorating the Tech course with, holy crap, actual technical knowledge!  The first thing he said that made me prick up my ears that the he thinks they have done enough word processing and spreadsheets.  Indeed they have.  The next thing he did was tell us what he will be covering instead: binary/hex, video/film editing, 3-D modeling and actual coding topped his list.  Hello!  DD had opted out of Tech this year because her last teacher was so uninspiring.  She figured she would learn more just asking us things at home.  But, this gentleman is actually teaching things I don't know.  So, kudos!  We sent a letter today requesting that DD be allowed to add the class.  Unfortunately, it will make her schedule late twice a week, but I think you don't pass up an opportunity like this if you can take it.  Wish us luck! 
(An awkward aside- we were busy telling DD about the new teacher and his class as we walked by him in the hall.  I only noticed his presence after I stage whispered that he was 'Awe-some!'  Whoops.  Well, if I had to be over-heard, I am glad it was probably while saying something that will make his evening :)

     There are going to be some Big Tests coming up this year.  Apparently there will be 'Long Tests' in October, and then full 'Exams' in December.  I guess this is a European thing, since most of the families seemed to understand the context.  Given our testing-heavy American society it feels a little weird.  Our kids are tested all the time, so what is the deal with Long Tests and Exams?  But, I get the impression these are sort of like a cross between Finals and State Testing and the SATs all rolled together.  For this year I think that these are mostly used internally, but that the ones they take their last two years will go toward their Baccalaureate, which is basically their High School diploma... only, there are some layers to it.  Like the OWLS in Harry Potter.  Honestly, I am still pretty confused.  But, I guess all we can do is encourage DD to do her best. 

     Today they released yet another set of schedules for the students.  The good news is that DS no longer has a 10-hour school day on Tuesdays.  But, apparently there is still some confusion on some of the other particulars.  For instance, on DD's schedule there is a blank shown on Monday mornings.  But, the English teacher swears that she has the students during that slot.  The parents hadn't all gotten to see the new schedules, yet, so my copy was popular before the meeting.  Most of the parents were relieved that the open slot was actually filled.  With the upper and lower grade classes on different schedules, it is already a bit of a nightmare trying to coordinate start-times when you have more than one Hogwarts kid in the family!

     DD's French teacher does, in fact, speak French with an Anime voice.  Which is both hysterical and wonderful.

     Contrary to popular rumor, the English teacher does not seem to have a speech impediment.  However, she does have a particular kind of French accent that leaves her pronouncing 'r's like 'w's.  I might not have been sure about this if another of the parents had not had exactly the same accent!  Now I am curious to know where it is from. 

Big Talk 

We got to hear a lot of the parents speak, actually, because about 2/3 of the way through the discussion shifted from academics to Issues We Have With Teenaged Children.  And, wow was that fascinating to watch.  It is difficult to assess in a room like that how many of the differences in parenting style that we were seeing had to do with individual ideals and how many were cultural.  But, one thing that became clear in listening to the parents discuss their woes and possible solutions was that while teenagers the world over may be very similar in their wiring and behaviors, parental responses vary wildly!  I did notice some trends, though.  The French and Spanish parents seemed to advocate for communal solutions while the American and UK folks were much more concerned with personal responsibility. 

Here are the things parents of 15-16 year old kids are worried about at Hogwarts: Smoking, Drinking, Sex, Facebook.

Sounds familiar?  I am pretty sure the same list shows up in just about every industrialized society, and the rest probably just leave Facebook off.

Proposed Solutions:

• Set up parenting seminars on how to address these issues. 
• Band together and make Facebook rules for all the kids in the class so that the kids can't say "but so and so is still online" at 1 am. 
• Police your own darned kids. 
• Somehow stop the kids from smoking near the school because it sets up a 'bad attitude'. 
• Ignore the kids smoking near the school because you can't control it.  
• Worry more about Facebook Bullying than Cigarettes.  
• Worry more about Cigarettes than Facebook. 

An Irish Mom and the Spanish Mom seemed to be most vocal and most at odds with one another.  Irish Mom seemed to think Spanish Mom wanted a 1984 Nanny State, while Spanish Mom seemed to think Irish Mom didn't understand the idea that the actions of a few can affect the lives of all.  The French all wanted group meetings and support.  And we are, apparently, the hard-nosed Americans since David kept just saying "Say 'No', its hard, but you have to do it!"  My Filipino friend and I just sort of sat there taking it all in with our jaws only slightly askew.

Eventually one of the administrators not-so-subtly came by and changed the schedule on the door to the one for tomorrow night.  All the other classes had already cleared out and we were still sitting around having a mini-EU meeting for S4!  Grin.  Well, the teachers all say that our kids are the talky-class.  I guess the parents are, too!

Dursley Update: While we were in talking with the parents, the administrator who had helped us deal with the Dursleys chatted some with DD.  He told her that after he had spoken with one of the other Admins, they had actually taken the Dursley girls on a little walk to have a conversation with the police!  It seems there were three complaints about the little darlings that day and they felt that the best way to nip it in the bud was a little Scared Straight action.  Wow!

I still see the girls hanging around outside the school every day, so let's hope it had an effect.

CORA: With 2 E's

Me, makin'' in through the day.

Still hot.  Still still.  Still muggy.  David gets to spend each day in an over-cooled computer-friendly office.  The rest of us?  Not so much.  We are getting frayed and fried around the edges.  Also, perpetually damp.

Sunday we went to a movie in search of someplace cool.  The actual theater was conditioned.  But, for some reason they opened up all the doors to the lobby.  So, as soon as you walked out of the theater, it was like playing that game where you jump from a cool swimming pool into a jacuzzi and back. Only, since it cost about $60 for the 4 of us to see a film, there is no "back".

Monday, we just laid low and tried to ride it out.  But, today I decided we needed to do something.  David had a work event that would take him late into the evening.  And, I figured it might be fun to get some French ingredients to liven up my cooking options!  Plus, with school fast approaching, we really need to check off the school supply list.  So, we made the trek back out to Cora.

The good: It was open!  We could see from the freeway that there were cars in the parking lot, so that was a positive sign off the bat.  Inside, it is in fact like a huge Target/Walmart/K-Mart, only done more French.  So, there are inexpensive clothes, school supplies,  video games, electronics, household goods, etc.  And there is also a supermarket- complete with a butcher, a baker, and a fishmonger.  I suspect there was a cheese person in there somewhere but I never found them.  That would be because of:

The bad: Both kids spent the day completely losing their sh*t.  And, by the end, I was ready to lose mine as well.  I don't talk a lot about it here, but life with DD and DS can be intense.  They are both 'twice exceptional', (2e), which means they have some amazing strengths in the form of creativity, intelligence, drive, energy  etc.  But, they have some unusual challenges, too.  DD falls to the Aspie side of things, tight, controlling, inflexible, hypersensitive to stimuli (too much sensory info overloads her) and always struggling with OCD tendencies.  DS is in the ADD/Absent-minded-professor tradition of wunderkind, with some serious emo intensity thrown in (especially with all the preteen hormones in the mix right now). 

We have been at this family thing for a good 15 years now, so just like any other family, we have figured out methods of handling most day to day activities that work well for us.  And, usually, they do work passably well.  But, then there are the days when they don't. 

On the way over, I could tell things were already a little bumpy.  DD & DS were bickering in the car.  He was reactionary, she was pushing his buttons, I was putting my foot down. 

DS has been having some mild panic attacks about attending school in France and learning French.  He just spent the entire year learning German, and now he is rather aghast that he must learn a whole new language on top of it.  Understandable- but he chose this path.  We gave him the option of staying in German school, weighed out pros and cons, and he decided on Hogwarts.  We have been taking French slow and with humor.  But, sometimes he does the Deer In the Headlights thing and we just have to push him past.  That was the first issue of the day.  He was panicky in the car, thin-skinned and looking for a fight.  When I made it clear that wasn't going over, he withdrew.  At the store, he just chose not to participate while DD and I read down the long, complicated French list of all the different supplies they need. 

Now, you may think that you have quite the back to school list in the states.  But, I have never encountered anything like what we get here at Hogwarts.  I counted.  DS's list had 87 separate items on it.  9 different kinds of paper (large square, small square, graphing, lined, blank, tracing and rough- note french use the squared paper for writing; plus two weights of art paper), several different sizes of notebooks, 4 ring binders (not three), dividers, plastic sleeves, a very specific list of pens (fountain, ball point in various colors and fine tip), ink, pencils (3 hardnesses, for drawing not writing!), dictionaries, rulers, calculator, erasers, sharpeners, correction pens, colored pencils, paints, brushes, glue, PE clothes & shoes, badminton rackets, ping-pong paddles, etc etc.  Here is a picture of what we have bought so far.  I think we have about 15-20 items left to go.

You Wussy Americans think you have to deal with school supplies? BWAHAHAHAHAHAH
I count EIGHTY-SEVEN required items for DS this year.  DD has a similar number, but some can continue
from last year- and a couple items can get handed down from DD to DS.

Needless to say, finding all of this in the row upon row of similar looking items all labeled in French is a challenge that takes focus.  Focus, is what someone like DS finds difficult to provide- especially in a distracting environment when he has a mental block about the language being spoken.  So, yeah.  He, was less than helpful. 

When we had just about given up on finding the last few items, we headed out the check the rest of the store.  That is when we discovered that they had about 6 more rows of school supplies set up in a huge Back to School display in a different section.  That area was completely crowded and intimidating.  But, since we hadn't found a few things, we waded in.

This was a bad idea.  Remember, DS has trouble with focus and emo.  DD hates dirt, sensory overload, and too much exposure to people.  After 5 minutes with the hustle and bustle she was ready to leave.  And we had not found anything useful that we hadn't seen already.

At this point I should have said "OK, let's go.  We know where it is now, and I can come back."

But, dang it, I had wants, too.  By my tally between our failed Cora attempt last week and this one, I had driven 2 hours and 15 minutes just to check out this store.  I wanted to check it out!  Maybe they would have Cheerios, or real vanilla, or powdery powdered sugar!  Or maybe they would just have some cool French pastries or ingredients that I would think were fun.  And, maybe there were cheap clothes that would fit me!

But, DD was REALLY done.  I told her I needed 15 minutes.  She thought that was too much.  I asked her if she could go wait outside.  Nope.  From then on out I got a constant stream of DD intensely lecturing me about the need to leave NOW.  There was foot stomping.  There was a raised, inappropriate voice.  There were lost privileges.  But, it didn't matter.  She needed to leave. 

I just needed not to.

In the end, I made a very truncated and uncomfortable shopping run of about 10 minutes.  I grabbed an artichoke, vanilla, chocolate chips and sugar.  And DS got 2 packs of noodles.  That was it.  I might ordinarily have been mortified, but I have been through this enough times that this particular outburst just didn't hit that button for some reason.  It was an issue to work through, and I hadn't found the right solution.

Walking back to the car, DD was already starting to relax.  But, I was still pretty ticked.  We unloaded the cart into the trunk and I went to return it.  Carts in France, as in Germany, have a coin locking mechanism.  You put a Euro in, and it pushes out a lock that chains the cart to the next one.  When you re-insert the lock, the euro pops back out.  I was so frazzled that I clicked the lock wrong and pinched my finger!  Ouch!

Back in the car I realized that I felt scungy after digging through the store for so long looking at all the school supplies.  So, I pulled out a sample of hand gel that the pharmacy had given me a while back.  I ripped open the foil pouch and squeezed it onto my hands.  Odd.  It was thick.  I started to rub it in... It didn't evaporate.  Uh-oh.

I checked the pouch again.  Douche Gel.  It was shower gel!!!  DOH!!

Both kids scurried around getting me napkins and partially emptied water bottle from stashes around the car.  Mineral water proved the best because the fizz helped wash away the sticky soap.  We all giggled over douche puns, and the ridiculousness of it all.  Laughing helped.

DD and I talked it through on the way home.  She had done the right thing in letting me know where her limits were, but, it was unfair to expect me to always give up my own priorities for hers.  Next time, should something like this come up, we decided that maybe letting her sit in the car with the AC running would be the way to go.

Back home the heat had let up only a little.  We discovered the degus had actually emptied their entire water container!  We will get a larger one tomorrow.  DD and DS worked nicely together to sort out all the supplies and identify what we are still missing.  No one pissed or raised their hackles.  We had exhausted our surlies for the day.

David didn't get home until after 9.  He had wild stories of German and Dutch bloggers and hackers coming to BFG (Black Forest Games) for a BBQ.  He signed a historic keyboard and chatted with people about how American it was for us to just up and move to Germany. 

Fair enough. I guess we are still pretty American.  And we are still, clearly, our own flawed and foibled selves.  But, we are making progress!  David Sedaris has a line that we read and laughed heartily about last night.  It talks about Sedaris' graduation from having the language skills of a mad baby when he first arrived in France, to having those of a hillbilly some time later.  "Is thems there some chocolate?" he might say after his progression.  And, we giggle because we are simultaneously at both stages.  I am still the mad baby in German.  "I want that!" I can point and get the idea across, but it is pretty bare bones.  In French, I am the hillbilly, with bad conjugations and completely mismatched article agreements.  And David is the opposite.  Maybe someday we, like Mr. Sedaris, will learn to talk pretty- and navigate all the inroads of European society with aplomb.  But, really, why should I think that?  It isn't like aplomb was the hallmark of our US existences!   Perhaps we will just learn to talk pretty and be ourselves.  That is probably the goal worth pursuing.

Challenge Week: Reading, Durmstrang, Partings and Taxes

DH the Ettin.

Challenge Week: Reading, Durmstrang, Partings and Taxes  ...and some Russian Grannies to take the edge off!

I guess we will call this a Quick Update and just hit the highlights.

Reading  - Monday I confessed to David that I could actually see some small print on my screen better without my glasses than with them.  I have been getting frequent headaches and know that my close vision is fuzzy at best.  So, David did what any thoughtful caring husband would do: He kidnapped me!  I got in the car to go with him to pick up DS from school, and, since DD wasn't due home for several hours, he simply drove me to town after the pick-up.  He figured the less time I had to think about it (and potentially chicken out) the better.  We wandered a bit until he could locate the optical shop that he remembered would accept walk-ins.  The optician (optometrist?  I wouldn't know the distinct certifications to look for here, but the guy seemed to know how to outfit eyes with glasses which is what I needed) spoke a little English, but not much.  So, it was slow-going.  It was the usual routine of testing my old glasses, dropping down little lenses into a rig and discovering what made things clearer or less clear.  As usual, the last couple choices were a coin toss and I was pretty sure I was picking wrong whichever one I chose. 

Once the gentleman did the exam he tried to explain our options, but the communication just wasn't there.  He left the room for several minutes, then came back with a chart.  That helped!  Basically, he explained that even though I am a little young, I definitely need reading glasses.  I could opt for multi-focals, but that would limit my field of vision and force me to tilt my head up and down a lot.  There was an option for a  straight close-lens that would only really show reading distance.  But, we opted for the middle option, which would cover everything out to about a meter.  This would be good for both my reading and my computer work.  And, since those two activities take up about 10 hours of an average work day, it seemed like the way to go.

It was fun picking out frames from among the various relatively severe German styles.  I could have gotten something rather like what I have now, but I thought it might be good to find something that was easy to distinguish so I could keep the near and far sets less confused.

Amusingly, the optician was so short that trying to get the focal points right proved to be a mild challenge.  I kept thinking I had to stoop down so he could see my eyeline, but he kept correcting me and having me stare at a wall.  Eventually the requisite black dots were marked on the sample lenses.  But, I am crossing my fingers that it works out OK when they arrive over the next couple days.

Unfortunately, he explained that since 2004 the glasses are not covered by our insurance.  So, its an out of pocket expense.  And the prices were higher than we would have liked.... like close to $1000 US for some lower-end frames and the two lenses.  Ouch!  But, if I can see, this will be a very good thing, and when balanced out with other medical expenses which have been very light, I am sure we still come out ahead. I opted for a bit of a Naughty Librarian look with some dark plastic frames, so at least they should be a bit fun.  For that price, I really felt like they ought to be Fun!

Durmstrang- This was really the defining and least-comfortable feature of our week.  DS's teachers and principal called us in to discuss his progress.  It was tense.  It was a bit awkward.  There were cultural things I don't think either side understood.  The long and the short of it is that they want him to have learned German already.  I brought along studies explaining that it takes 4-5 years for a well-equipped English Language Learner in an ESL program in the states to reach 50% proficiency in English under ideal circumstances.  I tried to share some of my experiences working with ELL kids in the states.  But, they didn't want to hear about it.  They need grades and test scores to validate his matriculation, and they have no clue how to get them.  It doesn't help that he went through a pretty major emotional upheaval a couple months ago and cried a couple times in class.  He has turned a corner since then and seems a lot happier, but clearly his un-German emo-ness put them off-kilter.

So basically, they are stumped and unwilling to bend any further for just one student.  And, he really is just one student.  He is only the second non-fluent German student they have ever had at the school!  Definitely not in California anymore.  Someone was telling me the other day that it is a bit of a dirty little secret that the vast majority of the Turkish immigrants they get here are simply shuttled off to the lower schools and not encouraged to attend the Gymnasiums (the college prep track).  But, everyone in the room did agree that the gymnasium is the place DS should be- it is just that his German isn't good enough to meet the standards, yet.  So, in the end they put him on a form of probation so he can stay with his class.  He will need to show a lot of improvement in German and pass a test next February to keep from being dropped back a grade.  We are looking for a new tutor and possibly some extra-curricular activities he can participate in.  I am not sure how we can fit it in during the school year, but maybe come summer he will be able to participate with the Pathfinders (German Scouts) or perhaps join a soccer club or something else fun where he can hang with more German kids in a lower stress situation. February is a long way off and who knows what will be happening then.  But, for now, at least, things are a bit more settled. 

Still, that definitely left a bit of a harsh aftertaste in my mouth.  After all the school issues we have had with DD over the years, this is a challenge we aren't really eager to face.

DD on the other hand, had a rather fun challenge this week- but more about that in a moment- first...

She wasn't quite sure how to respond when I admitted
that I Beep in my sleep ;-)  But, then, who would be?

Wednesday was Kerstin Fondue Day!!! One of the reasons they held the meeting Tuesday is because DS's dear and wonderful tutor, Kerstin, will be returning to the US this month and they wanted us to make plans to support his learning without her.  Her grant has expired and she has to go back sooner than she would like.  We were just getting to know her better and we are just as bummed as she is that she will need to leave before the end of the school year.  But, we decided to have one more dinner in her honor before she had to go.  She opted for fondue, so we had way too much bread and cheese and fruit and chocolate and rice crispy treats and brownies and marshmallows!  I admit, the stress of the week left us a wee bit more manic even than usual, but she seemed to weather it with good enough humor.  Hopefully, somewhere mixed in with the 'socially horrified' and 'confused', she also felt 'appreciated and well-fêted'!

What Foul Sorcery Is This?

Thursday was Rube Goldberg Day!  DD's physic's class at Hogwarts worked in small groups to design a long chain reaction machine.  DS was very helpful in giving DD ideas and suggestions and they had fun cloistering together and designing up a storm.  In the end, the amount of time to prepare was pretty short, so all the groups had to scale back a bit.  But, it was still a fun and really educational experiment! 

DD and her poster describing acid-base reactions

Setting up- domino launcher knocks over book, weight swings and knocks
over bottle filled with vinegar into balloon with baking soda,
inflating balloon tilts tube, sending a shuttle down the ramp and setting
off the next section.

 DD says that pretty much every section needed some tweaking as they did their actual run-through, but I figure on-the-spot engineering is a pretty useful skill to have!

Looking down the line

Finishing Touches

Aftermath- note the inflated balloon.

Friday- Recovery Day!  Just. Normal. Stuff.  Phew!

Saturday- I got a bug in my bonnet and decided it was time for me to actually do our US taxes.  (No, we aren't late- ex-pats get an automatic 2 month extension and grace period). Here is what I learned: It is a pain in the tush.  Really.  Normal taxes are a chore.  Taxes in a year when you moved to Germany?  Whooboy!  Also, most of the tax software isn't really set up for it.  I tried three different programs - and yes, that means I did the majority of our taxes three times before running up against flaws each time!  Finally, I gave in and purchased Turbo Tax.  I had had an issue with them some years ago and sworn not to use them again.  But, as it turns out, they were really the only program I could find that was able to easily deal with things like foreign addresses, employers without a Federal Identification Number, and the fact that we pay German taxes.  Also, even with all the stuff we wound up giving to charities etc., and the many other itemized deductions we had, the fact that we did not have much mortgage interest last year meant that none of it really mattered at all.  Standard Deductions are Back, Bay-bee.  Not sure that is a good, thing exactly, but it was about the only simplifying factor, so I guess I will take it.  So, as it turns out we owe a bit since I am self-employed, and there is one piece of paperwork we are still trying to track down.  But, otherwise, I think the 2011 Tax Year Ritual is pretty much DONE.  Woot! 

Er... well, at least our US Tax Ritual.... This week DH gets to fill out some German forms, so keep your fingers crossed that it is a simpler process!

Eurovision Song Contest 2012 Saturday was also a European Traditional Day of Kitsch.  The Eurovision Song Contest can best be described as sort of an international combination of American Idol and The Gong Show.  Basically, each participating country goes through a selection process and sends an act to compete.  This year there were 26 participating countries.  Viewers and judges watch and may cast their votes for any country OTHER than their own.  Yes, their are politics at play.  Yes, there are some really goofy costumes, songs, acts, dancers, etc.  It is a spectacle on a grand scale. I was totally looking forward to it.

And. We. Missed. It!!!!

I had been hearing about it all week, so I wanted to watch.  I sat down with the TV on Friday, but I couldn't find the channel, and DD was watching something, so I figured I would just wait and find it Saturday.  But, Saturday when I went to find the right channel not only was I unsuccessful, but 1/2 through my scanning process we lost our satellite connection!  DOH!  Luckily, the Internet is our friend.  We looked up some of the more talked about acts, and scanned through the amusing costumes and some of the wonderful history.  It is an odd mix of professional performers (Englebert Humperdink represented England this year, and Jedward were there for Ireland) and quirky little specialty acts- like this year's number two group, the Buranovo Grannies who sing in Udmurt- with a little English punch.  (Their Party For Everybody! really needs to be seen to believed, I encourage you to turn up the speakers and dance along)  Loreen, the Swedish singer who won the competition with her song Euphoria had already had that song on the international charts for a couple months before she performed it in the finals!

Learning
So, what this week has taught me is that we are learning, but we aren't Home yet.  We have been here long enough that we know how to live, but living well in our new country is still an unattained goal. We can get through day to day.  We can get glasses (knock wood), and engage in difficult conversations with schools.  We can get food, clean our house, buy clothes and go on an occasional fun outing.  But, it is still a lot harder than it was in our Native Land.  And, there are still many little things that we just haven't a clue how to handle.... like finding the right channel to watch Loreen in a cage match with Russian Grannies!  Ah well, maybe next year.

One Year Here, Officially

Ancient-looking wood beams, happy cows,
kids getting swarmed and gnawed on by calves...
This is definitely a German farm!

Anniversary 
Yep!  Hard to believe, but we have been here a whole year... Or maybe it is hard to believe we have only been here a year!  I am honestly not sure which.  We arrived in Germany on DD's birthday, April 23rd, 2011.  Well, DD, DS and I did.  David had been here several weeks already at that point. I have recently discussed our observations, so I won't dwell on that right now.  Though, I will say that there is something truly gratifying about living the adventure and rising to the challenge!  Yeah, my German still sucks and my French isn't all that much better.  But, every day I learn *something* that I couldn't have learned anywhere else in the world.  And, each day we (must!) use our brains, our creativity, and sometimes just our gumption to get through situations that we couldn't even envision only a year and a half ago.  So, I am still richly appreciative of the opportunities that we have here! 

Now, on to the present.  This week was actually a pretty full one.  And, thankfully after last week, pretty good!

The Farm Fieldtrip
DS's school class took a field trip to a local farm.  It was a walking trip- uphill all the way.  So, DD was quite proud to show off his Cub Scout skill of walking-stick manufacture.  He made sticks for himself and his best school friend and showed the rest of his class how to make their own.

Now, I must admit, from what I can tell German teachers are both smart and practical.  About 1/2 up, they stopped in an open field for a "rest".  This consisted of letting the kids loose to work off energy and engage in a hearty game of tag!

DS took a photo of all the backpacks on a bench as the played.

When they approached the farm, this is what they found.  Like most things in our area, the place was a hearty healthy mix of Old and New.  You can see this new structure being built to augment the rather ancient looking one next to it.

DS tells me there are two geese here, but they lined up just right for
the picture that you can't really tell.  And, yes, my Southern California
Friends and Family- most of Germany is this green.

After their arrival, the kids were brought into a large room where they were introduced to the farm animals.  There were 5 cats and a farm collie, that made DS homesick.  But, the rest of the creatures were larger and, well, more farmy.  Lots of cows, of course- it is a dairy farm- but also horses and mules and rabbits.  I am not sure if the geese are wild or residents, as well.

Unlike similar trips we have taken in the states, the kids were free to mingle with the animals and interact.  This was mostly wonderful!  Everyone loved petting the young calves (one had been born the night before!) and letting them gnaw/suck on their hands.  DS reports something interesting about calf tongues.  The front is very soft and smooth, but in back, they are rough and almost bristly.  Adult cow tongues are apparently all bristly.  He put forth the idea that as infants they are on a diet of milk, so it is most important for them to not injure their mother's teats.  While when they get older, the rougher surface helps them digest the roughage that makes up a cow's main diet.  It sounds like a great hypothesis to me, but I told him we should do a bit of research to see what we could learn.

This calf was 1 day old, but DS was both letting it suck on his hand
and trying to take the photo, so, er... a little off center!

One of the machines they use to process the milk.

The one drawback to letting the kids romp, of course, is that there is more risk of an occasional problem.  Since Germans value self-sufficiency and don't tend to be so lawsuit-happy as folks in the states, though, German kids tend to get lots of opportunities to stretch themselves- and sometimes opportunities to get hurt.  For instance, the farm dog bit one of the children on the trip!  The adults took care of her and tried to figure out what had happened.  But, as she wasn't badly hurt and the dog is not typically vicious, it was not treated as any huge deal. 

The kids were also allowed to take a short ride on a tall horse.  Mind you, nothing in the paperwork that came home mentioned anything about horseback riding.  Nor did we have to sign any paperwork releasing liability or anything.  They just said "hey kids, here is a horse, want a ride?  DS says this particular horse had a very uneven gait, but all the kids had fun. Then they had another play session, ate some yogurt made from the milk at the farm, packed up and went home.  All in all it really sounded a lot more like the homeschooling field trips we had been on than the ones I had supervised for public school classes.  And, of course, DS learned a ton!

Dead Fire
The one rotten thing that happened this week: when walking out to my car, I discovered that my new Kindle Fire and the cobblestone driveway should not mix.  DOH!

Biskuit und Wiener
Remember how last week I said I was too shy to take a photo of the biskuit in the supermarket?  Well, a couple days later I got brave.  I would have left it at that, except I made an amusing discovery.  They are not all biskuit!  These are all called "boden" or "bottoms".  But there are two main varieties.  We have the biskuit bottoms, and we have the Wiener bottoms!  In this case, from what I can tell "Wiener" means "from Vienna", so it is Viennese pastry.  But, still rather fun from an American point of view :-)

Happy Birthday DD!
Spring is also Birthday Season for the kids.  DD turned 15 on Monday.  She was pleased with her geeky gifts of a DSI that can both play US and German games, one such game, and a motion plus controller from her brother to let her play Zelda on the Wii.  As is our tradition, the Birthday celebrant gets to pick the menu for the day.  So, we had a trip to a German Bakery for brunch, a trip to a different German bakery for lunch (to get her favorite sandwich) and meatloaf, bread and apples for dinner.  I couldn't resist getting at least a little creative, though, and formed the loaf into a 15!

Happy Birthday!

Fünfzehn!

One of the many unexpected hazards in Germany is the possibility that you will purchase something that you THINK is one thing, only to discover that your German wasn't quite good enough to realize that it was, in fact, something else.... Case in point, DD's candles.

Now, first, I should mention DD did not like the idea of candles on her lemon poppyseed cake.  So, her brother gallantly offered to have them on his instead.  And he offered to blow them out, too (after she made her wish).  Only.....

Hmmmm....

Look at all that smoke!

That is right, David had accidentally bought "Magic Sparklers"!  Actually, this photo set is a little staged because I caught the mistake in time.  Otherwise, when the candles started to spark, poor DH might have had a panicked heart attack!  As it was, he wanted to use tongs to rescue them from the cake ;-)  I just grabbed them and dunked them in a little pyrex cup of water.  Voila!

Other good things this week:  Rain! DD got a very good report card from Hogwarts. I got a very nice unsolicited recommendation from one of my editors.  One of the book series I worked on is up for another award.  And one of the favorite series I have worked on this year is getting close to going to press and I can't wait to be able to share it with people!

Next week: DS's 12th birthday and Spargelzeit! 

Slice of Life Update- Fair, Food, France

Almost a year here- The view of Bühl in spring

Slice of life 1- Driving through France this week on my way to pick up DD from school.  There is one place where they are doing a lot of roadwork and the traffic always stalls there.  This particular day, I drive up to the congestion and stop at one of several lights along the strip.  I notice that two of the cars in the next lane are fairly far apart, and two gentlemen are out of their vehicles.  My first thought is that they have had a fender bender.  But, if so, there is no damage- and the cars are at least a car length away from each other.  Hmm.  Then I look more closely at the men.  There is something odd about their attitudes.  Chests out.  Faces puffy and sour.  They keep making these little darty movements at one another.
The first gentleman is a full head taller and probably 15 years older than the other one.  He is stocky, Germanic and has a girth equal to the tire on an SUV.  He looks pissed.  The other guy is also thick bodied, but he is darker and less round. He is certainly giving his tough face to his opponent, but he also has a twinkle to his eye and a barely suppressed air of  "I can't believe how ridiculous this is'' going. As I watch, I feel my jaw dropping lower and lower at the spectacle.  They never come to blows, but all the preliminaries are there.  I have never seen men in the states do anything quite so hesitant.  They look like birds, charging up, then backing away to re-evaluate.  Several times they look like they are about to chest bump.  Then they march back toward their cars.  Then someone says something.  The other huffs. Repeat. At one point the older gentleman spits on the ground.  It looks like he is throwing a gauntlet!  As the light gets ready to change, both men prowl back to their vehicles.
The first gentleman's passenger is a woman sitting essentially right next to me in the traffic. As her husband gets back in the car (throwing the bird as he does), she turns to me.  And, I swear, she does the best eye-roll I have ever seen and then gives the universal puffed-cheek speedboat raspberry of exasperation as the cars drive off.  As they pull ahead in the next lane I notice that the display of male aggression continues with unnecessary VROOMing, and abrupt lane changes into the nearly-stopped traffic ahead.  Just another day driving in France.

Slice of Life Two- DS and I were going out to the car in the parking lot here at the apartment so we could pick up DD from Hogwarts.  The driveway around the building is only large enough for one vehicle, so it is not uncommon to have to wait while the mail carriers or other delivery people make a quick stop.  But, this time I notice that a black Mercedes is idling in our way.  The driver's door is open, but no one is inside.  I figure the occupant must be dropping something at one of the businesses and hope that he returns promptly so that we are not late.  As we continue walking down toward the car, I see a distinguished gentleman in a nice dark suit.  His back is to me, but as we approach it is clear enough what he is doing- peeing off the edge of the parking lot into the field!  I wish I could say public urination was uncommon, but it isn't at all.  Germans- especially German men- will stop at any convenient place along the road and wizz away.  During warm weather I see it several times a week as we drive about.  And David reports that the "rest stops" at the side of the road maintain an ammonia stink, even after a series of rain storms.  Whatever the case, this was the first time I had encountered someone using essentially our front yard for such activity! The gentleman in question never glanced our way, but went on with his business.... slowly.  I am going to guess prostate issues.  Or perhaps our unexpected arrival threw off his concentration.  Luckily, even a long pee doesn't take that long, and soon enough he dashed back to his car and drove off, leaving the lane clear for us to get on our way. 

Slice of life 3- At a local bakery, David is in line and notes a man ahead of him ordering loudly in English!  "I want one of those and one of those!"  He has no British accent.  David strikes up a conversation and, sure enough- he is an American.  He is here visiting his Swiss son, who, incidentally is mortified that Dad insists on speaking English in Germany!  Amusingly, he seems to have encountered the only attendant at that particular bakery who speaks English and takes his order without problems.  Last week at the same bakery David had the opportunity to help a non-German-speaking co-worker who got cornered by unexpected German questions. 

Birds on the Rhein

Flowers near the bridge

Ducks

Easter Offerings- Different than in the US. 
If you want gummies and rum balls, the Germans have you covered.
Jelly beans are findable.  Plain chocolate eggs are tough.
Robin's Eggs and marshmallow animals (PEEP) are nil.
At least they aren't delivered by a bell, like in France!

We call this Murder Row. 
It is where the crows nest.

Went for a drive on Easter- this little guy came out and nibbled on
the grass as we went by.  Nice!

What better to do in the Spring Sunshine!!
(I like the bubble monocle in this pic)

We have seen these at the bakery since we arrived, but I finally got curious
enough to ask what it was.... The bakery lady carefully explained that it
had "Biskwit" and cream inside... hmmm Ok..... Worth investigating

Looks terrible, but it is actually pretty pleasant- sort of like a
mixed-up cupcake.  The inside has a mixture of cake crumbs (biscuit)
and sweetened chocolate whipped cream all piled up on a
shortbread cookie/cracker thing and then dipped in
chocolate.

   

Only the French Germans would think of this-
It is a bretzel-croissant.  Bretzel on the outside....

Croissant inside!  Amazing!
Really, though, I have no idea how you would make one.
You boil bretzels to get that outer quality- if you boiled
a croissant, the butter would melt and you would have a mess!

Trouble with the sugar bunny- napkin stuck to his ears...
Now they are... fuzzy!

 There was a fair in town for the German school holidays- DD was not interested, but DS had been looking longingly at it all week.  So, David finally took pity and dragged him over to Kehl to have some Father/Son play time....

OMG- So glad I didn't go on that!!!

DS says it started really slow and he thought he would have far too long
to stare at their bizarre decor of robots and unclad females, but once
the ride got going, it proved not to be an issue!

Achtung!! Yes, they really say that!

Yeah, not sorry I missed that one, either...

The only ride with a German Name- Katz Und Maus
DS says it was pretty tame.

Both the Paris Family Men went on the Ferris wheel.  I actually think
this one looked fun.  Though, I can never look at one these days
without thinking of the Chicago World Fair and poor Mr. Ferris dying of
typhoid, broke and alone.  Hmm... Too, morose?

That is a nice view!

Kehl, from the wheel

The Wheel from The Wheel

The Fair from The Wheel

Green